THE POP FIX


LiLo’s in a Stitch!
December 28, 2007, 2:29 pm
Filed under: LiLo | Tags: , , , , , ,

lindsay_lohan.jpg

(Photo via Pacific Coast News)

Our favorite freckled, speckled, head-to-toe Ho, LiLo, is in some deep shizz.

Remember former boyfriend Riley Giles whom she met while in rehab? Well, not only did he say Lilo was a nympho and a sex-aholic, telling Britain’s News of the World she “quit coke and got hooked on sex with me,” he’s now threatening to release and sell some intimate pictures.

Oh Lindsay, you inspire us. Your slutty antics and crack-headed ways force us to desire to write more than just a silly entry about you… hence, here’s a poem…a poem inspired by you and dedicated to you, hope you like it!

*ahem*

An Ode to Lindsay

Oh Lindsay Lo, you dirty Ho,

The coke in your nose as white as snow.

When you take a pic, make sure it’s not with a d***

that dares to bare it’s soul.

Lindsay you need to bring it up a notch,

To make sure we don’t see your firecrotch,

For we don’t want our eyes to burn–again,

Seeing freckles speckled all over your body, my friend.

Just make sure you seek God and remember a litany

Or you’ll turn out unbe-weave-ably fabulous, like Britney.

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